damn, beef!

dammmn but beef and his ho was holed up in the pool house all week! my stash was straight up unreachable while they were all dug into there, all having the only key, and I was jonesin for my trick bag. my roman candles, sidewinders, m-80s, n.o.2, vitamin H, all that was outta my grip. I was stone resorted to pinchin white wine outta uncle ray's little fridge and makin vinegar volcanoes, yo. ain't never there been a more pitiful player than that. I hang my head, all. Pour out a 40oz chardonnay and meet me at the crossroads.

kid klink

leapfrog and tha oracle and nicky went to juvie, yo! ha ha ha ha ha! turns out they hosted some pic of a naked kid on that site they edged me out of, and the judge plopped three months on 'em to make an example! fools got dusted and I'm here plain as day, stone cold not arrested. maybe it's time to celebrate with a hooley and a cigar in the hot tub, since uncle ray is down at the golf course. I'ma sit in the water in my trunks, showin my perfect nipples to anyone who comes by, word.

tanglin' with a korean dude

I was makin nice with Shirley Pang last week, this real ripe honey in econ. she dug me, I dug her fly buds, all that. even had her out at swensen's last week for some ice cream and nook. turns out though that she has this jealous korean ex boyfriend who shows up and springs a knife in my face! he cold cocked my knees from behind and held this dagger up to my neck and was all "you shray away flom shrirreyrrerry you pok bitch" and I straight up eyed him. I can tell poultry from miles and this dude was straight up boneless skinless. he did little samurai movements with the knife and marched off, and I'll be skinning his snuffly ass next time he brings the stainless. I ain't even that into Shirley but I might press a point here, just to take the juice outta that dirt dog.